From Pastor Bill

Are you able to relate to any of these nuggets, at least some of the time?

• I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
• You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
• I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
• I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying that I went to the Jim this morning.
• Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
• The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down; I’ll remember it.”
• Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
• Why do I have to “press one for English” when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Devotedly your pastor,

Bill Blanchard